Well, I am knackered.
I spent the weekend flying.
I haven't been dragon, since just before the last Lions Gate. I came back so AI ridden it took a while to clear. Also I had noticed that when wearing Dragon, compassion seemed to diminish over time. Added to this, the ease of going around in light body as a stream of photons, rather that encased in a shape or trapped in a merkaba and there seemed to be no need.
Last Thursday, I participated in a group healing. The healing went well (we intend for others, which is the best part of my life at the moment, feels like I'm doing deep good) yet after the session, I realised I was feeling itchy restless.
I entered Meditative mind, but found my body undulating and twisting as the kundalini rose. My arms extended and within the vibration of the moment,streams of light were flying from my body as strands of DNA weaving and twisting through the Aether. Even though my extended arms were gracefully (well they felt graceful) undulating as wings, a motion that started in my pelvis and extended beyond my hands into space, there was a dull persistent ache in my shoulder blades. An ache that no persistent shimmying or wriggling could override. And it just got worse. I found myself, as I was sitting in Lotus, arching backwards and forwards, huge sweeping movements, of which my husband would approve under certain nameless circumstances. As I swept forward and extended towards the ground, I felt my tail come out from under me. In that rush of movement and surprise, my wings unfurled behind me and whoosh we were away.
Oh Goodness how I had missed that freedom, the freedom of a long extended body as it soars upon warm streams of air, the maneuverability, of tail, wings, body working as one. The speed. The lightness. The power. The freedom. We weaved in and out of the planets,following there now all connected spiral streams of energy, beyond stars, through deepest darkest space we flew, united whole and it was beautiful.
Now some of you may remember a while back, I had a blue white light beam, come from out of space and time, pierce my brain and explode inside my skull with the brightest illumination I had ever seen. I could not work out why then, I mean I'm still me. I already had an upon demand coloured light body. The crystalline happened in 2014, maybe 15 and I had been running as a stream of whatever coloured photons I wanted since last year, when I discovered I could.
It was as the initial joy and blast of the flight subsided to peaceful drift, that I began to notice and take stock of my body. (I feel ecstatic still, with those memories of sensation.) I was born, to my knowledge a gold dragon, as I looked at my scales, I realised something was very seriously wrong, the more I flew the more cracked and kind of flakey my scales became. You can imagine me of course, just heading into Dark Moon, thinking "More freakin Shadow Work, What Now!".
So home we came, landed settled settled back into the biological space suit and got to work. Racism came up, it has taken me a long time to accept Unicorns, even though I had an extremely good buddy who is a Unicorn, there was a something there that had me a tad flinchy...it was a thought stream on how some can seem to actually have it pretty easy but are so dramatic and whiney. Heal that, everyone comes from what they know and where they are at that particular time. So work done and off for another flight.
Well it backfired, instead of my beautiful golden armament, there were cracks of white showing through. I was deeply disappointed, grey hair, gray pubes and now this! I'm getting old, does my dragon have to too? It almost, not quite ruined the freedom of the flight. So home I flew again, a little heart hurt and "dramatic whiney" you guessed it Unicorn mirror. When I realised that I giggled. More work, this time into where does the meme "Humans Have Always Warred Come From". Pheww that was deep. Words written on it later (it's even longer than this story).
Finaly I had had enough of crying for the world hurts and trying to right world wrongs, so I called up dragon body and away we flew. As we left the worries and cares of the earth beneath us, and whirled and played with the stars in reckless abandon, I did not notice at first, because I think it started at my head, I did not notice the flakes of gold falling away until they fell off my wing tips, as I was holding in place over Jupiter. When I hold in place,not wanting to land, but just hover in a spot, my wings extend from behind me, encircle me to the front and the tips of my wings undulate almost like hands, gently cupping the watery air, to hold me steady. And as those wing tips were undulating, I could see the gold, gone. In it's place is white. Not grey white, but a bright, bright blue white, brighter than a toothpaste commercial, white. The same bright light, that had penetrated my brain and illuminated my mind bright blue white light.
My current feelings are, I am not a great fan of white. It looks good on Gandalf, but shows up every mark and stain. It denotes purity, all that sacred guff and is the colour of death and new life. It denotes trust, honour the "good stuff" and whilst I appreciate change and evolution happens to all things, it will be awhile before I am ready to go Dragon again. I just want to have some human fun, without an otherworldly expectation of behaviour. Call me when the battle need arises, I will be there, but until then...fu*k off.
How was your weekend?
Much love Juhl
Simply My Thoughts