Sept 15 to 29 Mars and Lilith
I am not an, everything is from or about you person. I’m not sure how any child, who has had a hard child hood, could be. There are things that impact upon our world and ourselves regardless of how many good thoughts we convince ourselves we are thinking.
I’ve been looking closely at Ascension and what that means and 5d. Ascension means to overcome, 5d is a new way of being where the lowest vibration is love. So how do we get there?
With regards 5d. In 3d we are sold a bill of goods around polarity, and duality, yin and yang, the dark and the light, balance. As if these concepts of opposites are facts, and these concepts are used to justify levels of pain as “lessons”. Another justification of not having a beautiful safe and loving world for children is, ”you choose this before you come to this 3d realm”. Well, many of us didn’t choose this level of being to perpetuate it, we came to change this paradigm, and to change it we must be sure and firm of the concepts we came to change, the justification of Polarity being one of those.
“If you want to find the secrets of the Universe think in terms of energy, vibration and frequency.”
What does this mean? Simply and in a nut shell, it means that every emotion, object or sound within our universe has a different level (we could look at this as a line) of existence. When these levels of existence meet, as they do within each being, they become a wave. The more your emotions fluctuate, the more disparate the sound sources, for example, the more your wave will fluctuate or oscillate. So within the polarity construct, the thought seems to be you must swing between evil and good actions, within emotion, love and hate. Make no mistake emotions are measurable amounts of energy and each one has it’s own level of vibration.
Though, it is possible to have many feelings around something, we only feel one of these emotions at a time, and then with varying levels of intensity.
In moving into a 5d lowest vibration love, it is necessary to clear the emotional field of any heavy or dense emotions. And here is where a point of contention arises.
There seems to be several groups of thinking around the clearance of lower vibrational emotions and how to stabilise oneself once, the higher emotional levels are reached.
My personal bias, of what has worked for me, is not a popular one, as it involves experiencing the experiences that caused pain and discomfort in earlier times, until the energy around them has dissipated. As perspective is altered through the alchemy of this method, when listening to or reading of other experiences, nothing but love, and compassion remain. I am leaving Empathy out of this article, as empathy is a double-edged sword, something that is natural for most humans, now weaponised. I have found the method of Shadow Work to be the most stabilising over time. I have tried many methods.
Another aspect of Ascension is that of Service to Others as opposed to Service to Self. Again, I see a lot of bogus information around this concept. In its simplest form this concept translates as “learn once, teach two”. Whenever you find a new way of being that has helped you overcome and heal, or a have a true knowing come through you “In Sovereignty” (a deep ascension principle many are yet unready to hear) share that knowing.
Whether you recognise it or not, we human are evolving. Our consciousness is expanding, learning to network with others over distance, as many recognise failings (perhaps deliberate) within their communities, is a simple proof of this. As knowledge spreads it becomes more and more apparent that halting the breaking of our families, children and communities is paramount for peace for all. To stop the cycles of violence and abuse, it is essential for those of us who recognise a more beautiful existence, for all (no greater good here) to heal and become role models in turn. We are within this transition and I salute you.
8 mins · I am going to take my longer musings away from facebook. They really are designed for me and I don't want to get repetitive or be upsetting and I really need to grow my out reach. I really do love you guys and this platform. Many of you read my poem the other day and I enjoyed the ensuing conversation.
FB is no place for friendships of growth or intimacy.
It is a list of floating memes,
That have no place in reality"
It was a conversation between many. Each giving voice to their own opinion. As such I'm a little torn as I recognise I want more of that. Though I would prefer Face to Face.
Not always problem solving either, but shooting the shit and having a laugh, even, over wine and cheese.
I used to laugh at those memes and films of people having dinner with their virtual friends, now though, I understand and can relate. The reworking of technologies to the point where once again we have true communities, even at a distance excites me (though naturally I would rather meet in person).
LMH has a wonderful model for this and I think the Unf**kit Community does too. Though something called Discord is not my jam and I found it incredibly hard to work, I guess I will have to expand and adjust and find new ways.
I do have a very particular skill set ;) and it is not being wasted here, but I feel I could do more, and be there for others who have needs, and you guys are just so gosh darn awesome and together.
I'd appreciate if you could think of any other platforms, whereby I could extend my own particular brand of Caring and let me know.
I realise many of you don't even know I'm a trained Crisis Intervention Specialist, as well as Life Coach specialising in Childhood Sexual Abuse. That's ok discretion is always key. I love Magick and empathy and you will find a lot of highly sensitive people were also abused, which is why I took that angle. Tarot is a great way to break ice and a great income source (plus I love and am really good with the cards). But I do want to be there for those who were as broken as I was, before I began the Shadow Work path. And this path has become incredibly difficult to support people to walk upon, as there are so many bright flickering objects, drawing their attention, away from pain they don't want to face, into a world of suppression and projection. "It's all just a Story", being my favourite sarcastic tongue in cheek line.
We find the dark, we face it, we transmute it, and we rise. Each time with more stability and greater depths of healing and understanding. Sexual abuse is not a "fix" model to wellness, nor a quick one, yet when supported to heal survivors have bottomless wells of joy, compassion and strength available to them. Any one who has not undergone such situations, may have trouble comprehending just how incredible survivors are.
So, If it's ok with you, I will post my blog on here for those of you that want to read it. Other than that though, sailing into the wide blue yonder. Expansion time. Of course I will still be here, I'm a meme addict and I enjoy catching up with what is going on. But long rambling thoughts such as these, well I'm a dinosaur watching the meteorite hit in. <3
Much, much love
THE STRENGTH TO MOVE FORWARD
When you have played in the ocean and lost a fin to the sharks, how do you move beyond the puddle you have retracted too in safety?
There have been several periods in my life, where I have flown, soared with the birds, worn silk and before it was "Totally" unfashionable, fur!
Gees I looked good. I'm not a natural beauty, but bear in mind my goals when I entered Solway College, at 12, were to be an opera singer, a ballet dancer or a first rate whore. And I had failed at the first two.
Into the Telecom and Training area I drifted. I learned word processing for that company, on the most bizarre two-day training course. From hardly seeing a computer, to typing and editing on one, complete with Fkeys in two days, umm ('87, think on p.c's back then...had you heard of one?)
Another training course I went on was incredibly different. It was the Academy of Elegance, 12 week 'finishing school' for ladies. I learned to shade my face (it's all about the triangles), walk. sit, get in and out of a limo elegantly...if certain young song stars had of taken that lesson it would've saved a lot of eyes from unsolicited beaver shots.
The highlight at the end of the course was "The Walk".
We had two walks to learn, involving make up and clothing changes, to be performed, at the end of the course, before Invitees and Academy Guests. As a special prize, the girl who had graduated highest, would receive the Golden Rose. A lapel pin of... a gold rose.
Gees I wanted that rose.
You see at this stage I was still thinking I was going to meet a wonderful rich man and we were going to waltz away under a sky of stars. He would lift me up marble steps where we sigh longingly before gasping to fulfilment, on silken sheets, under the canopy of the four poster. My natural shine would be allowed to come through and we would walk hand in hand, delivering love through the land.
And yes, I was on drugs most of the time.
Each week the lexicon of lessons was incorporated into life, practiced upon over the week and added to, like the most wonderful serial magazine. I missed one week over the time and it was "The Walks", we had already learned how to walk but this was the choreography for the End Show walk. Now I'm pretty bright and I do pick up things quite well, but these walks were tricky. step step half turn, step step pivot, kinda stuff and there were two of them, I did practice. Not being there for the initial lesson though, I was always slightly unsure on how the steps went and I did not have the confidence to ask the tutor, of whom I was in awe.
So finally, the night of graduation arrived. I did not have a guest, as everyone I knew thought it a pointless waste of time of a class. 9-5 was their life and the more I grew my butterfly wings, the more insignificant in their eyes I became. This course wasn't about looks for me though, it was about restoring confidence in a beauty that had been traded upon since childhood. A way of reawakening my hopes and dreams for the future. A more beautiful, self made future. How do we make the pictures if not through experience?
Which is precisely where I fell down. No, I did not fall, but I failed.
I looked so good, on that final night, I had shopped, plucked, waxed and shaved. Shaded, perfumed, buffed and teased, I sauntered through that room, up the middle catwalk steps I siddled (cause that's what you do, in heels, walking up steps, you place your feet slightly sideways, so the whole shoe is on the step and you glide upon slightly bent knee with back straight, shoulders relaxed and head, erect from, the crown) ;p I got to the top of the steps with the wrong foot forward, I pivoted instead of turning, was facing the wrong direction and flubbed it. If there were not 12 other girls who had all successfully turned the right way, it would not of mattered, but there were and it did.
There in the midst of Ambassadors, beauty queens and photographers, I Royally gaffed.
I didn’t get the Rose, but after 12 weeks with this crowd I had not expected to. The fundamental difference between them and me was well apparent by week three. To these gossamer wrapped and fledged, more gold than silver spoon fed monarchs, I was toxic. Perhaps tainted is a better word, they had a beautiful world and I wanted in. It was their duty to protect it, from riff raff like me.
Everything I learned, I had learned from grudging smiles, under raised noses, with little side serves of malice. Like the expensive foundation choice of wrong tone. Or the Winter when one is a Summer. I loved what I had learned wanted to put the lessons into practice, but something had ignited within, a desire hidden as money. The energy of money. When it is not actualy money you want but the things money can buy. I wanted that security, of never having to worry about the power bill, the rent, making a wrong foundation choice, good scents and textiles around me, colourful people and laughter.
Inside I left the whole experience feeling more unworthy than ever. 9-5 wasn’t working for me, drugs were and in the not too distant future I would end up in a massage parlour in Auckland.
So how does one move beyond the puddle of ones safety? I can see two choices. One can cry so many tears the puddle overflows and becomes a flood, or one can dig a canal from the puddle to the closest water source, even if it’s a sewer and one can float like poop “down to where the river meets the sea”.
I’m pondering my choice.
In peace, strength and love.
Well, I am knackered.
I spent the weekend flying.
I haven't been dragon, since just before the last Lions Gate. I came back so AI ridden it took a while to clear. Also I had noticed that when wearing Dragon, compassion seemed to diminish over time. Added to this, the ease of going around in light body as a stream of photons, rather that encased in a shape or trapped in a merkaba and there seemed to be no need.
Last Thursday, I participated in a group healing. The healing went well (we intend for others, which is the best part of my life at the moment, feels like I'm doing deep good) yet after the session, I realised I was feeling itchy restless.
I entered Meditative mind, but found my body undulating and twisting as the kundalini rose. My arms extended and within the vibration of the moment,streams of light were flying from my body as strands of DNA weaving and twisting through the Aether. Even though my extended arms were gracefully (well they felt graceful) undulating as wings, a motion that started in my pelvis and extended beyond my hands into space, there was a dull persistent ache in my shoulder blades. An ache that no persistent shimmying or wriggling could override. And it just got worse. I found myself, as I was sitting in Lotus, arching backwards and forwards, huge sweeping movements, of which my husband would approve under certain nameless circumstances. As I swept forward and extended towards the ground, I felt my tail come out from under me. In that rush of movement and surprise, my wings unfurled behind me and whoosh we were away.
Oh Goodness how I had missed that freedom, the freedom of a long extended body as it soars upon warm streams of air, the maneuverability, of tail, wings, body working as one. The speed. The lightness. The power. The freedom. We weaved in and out of the planets,following there now all connected spiral streams of energy, beyond stars, through deepest darkest space we flew, united whole and it was beautiful.
Now some of you may remember a while back, I had a blue white light beam, come from out of space and time, pierce my brain and explode inside my skull with the brightest illumination I had ever seen. I could not work out why then, I mean I'm still me. I already had an upon demand coloured light body. The crystalline happened in 2014, maybe 15 and I had been running as a stream of whatever coloured photons I wanted since last year, when I discovered I could.
It was as the initial joy and blast of the flight subsided to peaceful drift, that I began to notice and take stock of my body. (I feel ecstatic still, with those memories of sensation.) I was born, to my knowledge a gold dragon, as I looked at my scales, I realised something was very seriously wrong, the more I flew the more cracked and kind of flakey my scales became. You can imagine me of course, just heading into Dark Moon, thinking "More freakin Shadow Work, What Now!".
So home we came, landed settled settled back into the biological space suit and got to work. Racism came up, it has taken me a long time to accept Unicorns, even though I had an extremely good buddy who is a Unicorn, there was a something there that had me a tad flinchy...it was a thought stream on how some can seem to actually have it pretty easy but are so dramatic and whiney. Heal that, everyone comes from what they know and where they are at that particular time. So work done and off for another flight.
Well it backfired, instead of my beautiful golden armament, there were cracks of white showing through. I was deeply disappointed, grey hair, gray pubes and now this! I'm getting old, does my dragon have to too? It almost, not quite ruined the freedom of the flight. So home I flew again, a little heart hurt and "dramatic whiney" you guessed it Unicorn mirror. When I realised that I giggled. More work, this time into where does the meme "Humans Have Always Warred Come From". Pheww that was deep. Words written on it later (it's even longer than this story).
Finaly I had had enough of crying for the world hurts and trying to right world wrongs, so I called up dragon body and away we flew. As we left the worries and cares of the earth beneath us, and whirled and played with the stars in reckless abandon, I did not notice at first, because I think it started at my head, I did not notice the flakes of gold falling away until they fell off my wing tips, as I was holding in place over Jupiter. When I hold in place,not wanting to land, but just hover in a spot, my wings extend from behind me, encircle me to the front and the tips of my wings undulate almost like hands, gently cupping the watery air, to hold me steady. And as those wing tips were undulating, I could see the gold, gone. In it's place is white. Not grey white, but a bright, bright blue white, brighter than a toothpaste commercial, white. The same bright light, that had penetrated my brain and illuminated my mind bright blue white light.
My current feelings are, I am not a great fan of white. It looks good on Gandalf, but shows up every mark and stain. It denotes purity, all that sacred guff and is the colour of death and new life. It denotes trust, honour the "good stuff" and whilst I appreciate change and evolution happens to all things, it will be awhile before I am ready to go Dragon again. I just want to have some human fun, without an otherworldly expectation of behaviour. Call me when the battle need arises, I will be there, but until then...fu*k off.
How was your weekend?
Much love Juhl
Sitting in my P.J's wondering about energy.
Can anything really be infinite? For all the energy outside and within ourselves, be it the universe, the multiverse, the omniverse, there are if not edges or boundaries, then points where it all rolls back on itself. So not infinite but ceaseless, like a ring, that has no end and no beginning, yet rolls round and round and round.
And if that is so, then there is a finite amount of energy surrounding and within ourselves, though that finiteness is perhaps to large to comprehend. Just because something has no end doesn't mean its infinite. Like a river, you never stand in the same place twice, as all the water continually passes you by, Yet that water has been within or upon the earth for as many years as the earth has existed. Sure the form may of been different, but it has circulated, round and round...now in many places the water is Toxic...and there in lies my point.
What has happened to all the toxic energies, that we have created, released and wished away? Have we alchemically transmuted that energy, to something good? Did we drop the dross upon the shores of the earth, within the arms of source, expecting those forces to take care of our crap. Did we send the crap through the zero point, not realising we were expecting another dimension to do our job for us?
I suspect that we have in fact forgotten, that something always is. The energy may change form, but it always exists. And we are guilty of dropping our lumps of lead, to poison the waters, rather than changing that lead into gold.
How do we do that, change lead into gold? We learn. We take the experience that has allowed us the opportunity to feel like crap, we tease it out, search for how it happened and change an aspect of perspective, be it through boundaries or recognition, that will enable us next time to respond or act differently. There usually is a next time as polarization or extremes of emotion, act like magnetic lead, and once something has found a way to trigger you, the universe rather like a narcissistic boy friend, can not resist triggering you in a similar way again. And if we have truly transmuted, not just dropped the dross, then this time we catch the lead before it falls and we throw back gold.
Much love my friends
Simply My Thoughts