Well I am not where I wanted to be.
I can translate this from energetic to monetary terms, as a percentage. I am 6.5% out of alignment.
I become the age of a Mayan elder in 5 months, so I have a lot of work to do. I suspect it is my sense of community and peopling that is holding me back.
I am fearful.
I hurt others and am hurt,
I lack masks.
I'm coachable and willing to learn, but don't waste my time with bullshit that doesn't come from the heart or comes from a desire to justify a way of being, that does not do much but dislocate people from their spirit and the Spaceship we are care taking. Makes for a touch of tension ;)
I remember, think I have written on it before, about how I was punched in the face by the leader of a gang (we were ten) and unbeknownst to me, at that time, that was my initiation into the gang, who then went on to teach the awkward white stick, to move to any rhythm on the dance floor. Why? because I didn't nark. I ran into the bathroom crying, but I did not tell the adults or Police who were running the disco.
I got instant mates. So sweet ending to a weird episode. Yet it has coloured my perception of new groups of people ever since. There is always an initiation, an attempt to make one feel as if one belongs, sometimes coming in the guise of making one think they don't belong...can you hang in long enough? And there are always people who consider themselves leaders within the groups, like a self bestowed mana, of book learning, protocol or skin colour, but seldom because of heart and mind unity. Seldom are the leaders actually people choices. Like candidates in an election, you get to vote for the candidate presented, but you don't get to choose the candidate.
I didn't post as such yesterday, because I was at six hundred words and still hadn't suggested all of the thought streams I have around, tracing the blood. Not the genealogy of blood lines, but the where did the "Humans have always warred" come from? Why was that punch in the face considered a path to membership? How did violence become a systemic incorporated theme within our ways of being? And then I watched this...
And then I watched...I listened, I felt 600 words had already been said...and said by others, better. Ae tautoko
I love Dark Moon
Simply My Thoughts