(Note my Illuminati, full disclosure, eye).
Well I was feeling really buoyant.
Oh yeah hung over, slow to start...when the party ends...and work kicks in.
I love reading cards, I’m good at it. The Tarot is my friend.
Yes, I hide behind my cards, I’m not ready to have thought streams and dead people turning up off the cuff. Book an appointment please.
And therein lies the rub.
I do not want to be the callin lady for urgent business. It’s too messy and could have been avoided had you decided to book in for a full reading earlier. (My blog, my rant, I get over it).
Some things I have discovered, about my reading and the cards, yours will be different, but the fact I have discovered this about myself and the tarot relationship, should suggest
If my cards are kicking up dates over six months away, the message is more in the cards, than in the dates. Although I have had two instances, both within the same reading, that have given me pause for thought. The Fool appearing in past position, seems to be a way of the cards saying. “All of this spread, is because of something that happened in the past”, indeed, the outcome card gave the date of the original faux pas, rather than the time the incident will be reconciled by. And the King of Swords, Death and the Ace of Swords, can mean teeth trouble, when appearing within a reading, not necessarily in that order, or together.
Dates can be fitted in with long term goals, but really, unless I am looking at the most disciplined of people, rigidly held and i's dotted to the T, shit happens. Three months is long enough to show the tendencies of thought, emotion, reality, cleansings and general wellbeing, that are going to reflect in your manifestation, of the Magick of being you.
My goal, for everyone, is to get them using their intuition, to help people navigate their world in a beautiful way. I’m a Magickal life coach. My training is ongoing, as should yours be, but I have definitely paid to learn what I am doing, live what I am doing, and have watched it work, for both myself and others for long enough, to charge a fee.
I also have been working for long enough to know, if people don’t pay a fee, they don’t value or think about the information presented, deeply enough to make it count and use for positive change.
I want you, reading your own cards, using a pendulum, or to become so aware, of how energy affects your body, you can tell your yes from, your no.
My standard teaching for survivors of childhood abuse, in particular highly sensitive or empathic people is this.
N.B. I use the Chakra as energy areas of the body, you may intuit your own energy system, but these areas of the body will still respond in similar ways.
Sometimes living really can screw with your intuition, as the people you love and trust are often the ones that hurt you. So, you may feel you are continually "going against" your greater good.
A lot of people know about that "gut feeling" (some listen to it lol). And yes, it is there to keep you safe. Many believe it is the sacral chakra responding to people and situations. Here is the thing though...This area has brain cells, which may be why a lot of memories, of relationships, are stored or energetically pinged here.
When you meet someone, and you get that gut feeling (for good or bad), it may be that the energy of this person is evoking the sacral memory response. For this reason, I would like to introduce you to another form of intuition. That of the heart chakra.
If you place your left hand over your heart chakra, place your attention within its glow, and redirect your focus to the person met, notice what changes. If you relax, it may have been the sacral memory mentioned earlier. If the feeling is the same and the gut remains tight, MOVE ON!
Now this handy little tip is great and can be applied to those "prospects" in the bar. When you get those wow, eye meeting moments...Reach up and adjust your bra strap (disguising your left hand over the heart area) and redirect your gaze. Listen/feel what changes. It may be your sacral going: Hell Yeah! Two Pairs of Shoes under my bed tonight! Or leading you into the karmic dance of another chance to be the one that ends those, no good abusive, go nowhere, run arounds.
Alternatively, if your heart is still singing...This may actually be the one. Trust it..
This line, or thread, of thinking has a long lineage behind it. I’m sure others have put it together also. I have just been practicing a new/old way.
Mr White, during a Necrophysics lesson over at Rune Soup, mentioned how he felt a yes or no answer, come in from the universe.
Juhl’s mind went into overdrive. Yes or No, what answers that instantly, a pendulum, what do you have to do with a pendulum, you have to program it! You align yourself with the pendulum and ask it to show you a yes, then you ask it to show you a no, and some, program in a maybe, or up to fate, or something neutral, allowing the universe/source/energy/God some privacy or discretion of action.
So, I aligned myself, with me and my kind of energy (love) and asked, straight out for how a yes was going to feel and how a no was going to feel. Boom instant physical answers.
No, I have not had a chance to go gambling yet, responsibility and being aligned with love are my thing. And I shall start small 🙂
I am however extremely excited.
When I first began work in the intuitive field, don’t make me count how long ago, I began shadow work on myself, and there was no way I could get such a clear and crystal, yes and no response, (yes, I tried) and no way, would I have trusted that signal. Mr White and I however, share some Doreen lineage, it would appear and I am using that game card, to put this thread of thought, out. (My naming them, is a lineage of my thought, which goes way beyond them both. One could term the beginning in time, of this thought collective, an Ancestor). You shall have to sign up for the course, as I did, for much more.
Finally, the point of this whole long missive, I think is a good one. Using my methods and systems and thought patterns, a lot of love from and for others, I have evolved to the point where I am a relatively in control cosmic conduit. I have allowed myself to dig deep, to hurt, to ritual, to meditate, to do whatever the fuck it takes, to make it to and stay within that special place of growth, aliveness, levity, compassion and love, that allows me to be as I believe we were all meant to be. Yes I’m egoic, yes I’m opinionated, yes I have chosen my own programs. I am totally human. Happy to evolve my ways, if you can show me something truly better. The best part is, if you haven't got that flowing, healthy, almost in control feeling, where you are picking up what the universe is putting down, growing a wonderful life for you, your family, and the world, YOU CAN GET IT TOO.
I am the biggest screw up I know, sexually abused, drug addicted, hooker, bankrupt, sinner, you name it throw it at me, it will justifiably stick. And yet I feel great. You can too, just carry on doing what you are doing, sharing what works and owning those muck ups. Sometimes learning sucks. We should only need a lesson once. Reach out and book some time with me, if you are on your second or third round, I could support you in your efforts to grow. Be scared, change happens, let fear guide you if that is what it takes, transmute that fear to anger and wow, we have Alchemical gold for change.
I hear this rumour that Mercury and Neptune are doing this dance, and Mars is there and Sirius is disappearing for the first time ever on Tuesday, and isn’t it all a bit much?
Live your own Legend
In peace, strength and love
It’s a strange thing money. It has a mythical appeal and repel quality. The familial tales and myths around money are epic. Each generation, reinforces codices of action and behaviour around wealth. But here is the real truth. If you weren’t born with family money, you are unlikely to get any to a higher level than your parents.
Oh yes, I know, I have heard them all…It’s how hard you work, it’s how you flow, it’s destroying those limiting beliefs, thinking abundant thoughts yada yada, blah blah blah, all stories, all bull shit.
One of the greatest deceptions I can see upon the world is that of the “Class System”. The level of income you are achieving designates your class, poor white trailer trash, lower income, blue collar, middle class professional too Elite, it doesn’t matter, these are the deceptive classes used to hide the great deception, that of Caste. The world is run and controlled through vertical lines of what you do, not horizontal lines of what you make. If you learn this lesson and learn it well, you will go far and possibly grow rich.
Now I was sexually abused from an early age. The situations generated around this, the feelings of guilt, shame, the crimes I in turn perpetuated, all had one true and hidden goal. The goal of keeping me within the “criminal subset”. I could have been a great politician or athlete, but by the time I was 10 the situations I had been in and party too, already precluded a sidestep into the legal world. Upon the underworld I would rise, fail or go to jail. I haven’t been to jail, which shows you just what a good little criminal I became, and within those ranks I could of ridden very high indeed.
Every time I tried to step away out from under a “strange attractor” would force it’s way in and I would be knocked back into the world of the illegal, until there was nothing but illegal for me to do. I became well trained, through fear, trauma and my own indelible well of hell.
The training to remain within ones caste ranges from subtle to highly invasive. The subtle is to write on drugs, prostitution and money and have your “friends” walk away, using justifications of “it’s in the past” or “I can’t be associated with that”. That’s a whole new level of denying ones being and validity as a person, watch as the real me shrinks back into shape. To the real heavy hits, this is the overdose of drugs, in the back of a car winding up in a different town, working in a whore house, kind of stuff, or the “we got the dirt on you, we’ll nark you out” (particularly effective when one has four kids).
Your, keep you in the Caste line, may be different, your circumstances are individual and unique to you. But if you are trying to change your life, move into another career, gain more wealth and keep meeting what the “New Age” terms resistance, then I would counsel you to look at your lines. Your vertical caste lines of what you were born and raised to be, rather than the class lines of money. It is very possible to ride to the top of your field, easily, as soon as you recognise what that field is and what is stopping you from plowing it.
I became a very well paid call girl, making my way up the ranks from seedy massage parlor to "High Class", then **** salesperson (still illegal here) working my way from foils to pounds and now I have a wonderful coaching and tarot business, whereby I get to support others to rise and be whole.
I have successfully navigated the side step. It took for me to realise that the ceiling is not above us, it is the walls that surround us, that stop our expansion.
In peace, strength and love.
Own it like the boss you are.
THE STRENGTH TO MOVE FORWARD
When you have played in the ocean and lost a fin to the sharks, how do you move beyond the puddle you have retracted too in safety?
There have been several periods in my life, where I have flown, soared with the birds, worn silk and before it was "Totally" unfashionable, fur!
Gees I looked good. I'm not a natural beauty, but bear in mind my goals when I entered Solway College, at 12, were to be an opera singer, a ballet dancer or a first rate whore. And I had failed at the first two.
Into the Telecom and Training area I drifted. I learned word processing for that company, on the most bizarre two-day training course. From hardly seeing a computer, to typing and editing on one, complete with Fkeys in two days, umm ('87, think on p.c's back then...had you heard of one?)
Another training course I went on was incredibly different. It was the Academy of Elegance, 12 week 'finishing school' for ladies. I learned to shade my face (it's all about the triangles), walk. sit, get in and out of a limo elegantly...if certain young song stars had of taken that lesson it would've saved a lot of eyes from unsolicited beaver shots.
The highlight at the end of the course was "The Walk".
We had two walks to learn, involving make up and clothing changes, to be performed, at the end of the course, before Invitees and Academy Guests. As a special prize, the girl who had graduated highest, would receive the Golden Rose. A lapel pin of... a gold rose.
Gees I wanted that rose.
You see at this stage I was still thinking I was going to meet a wonderful rich man and we were going to waltz away under a sky of stars. He would lift me up marble steps where we sigh longingly before gasping to fulfilment, on silken sheets, under the canopy of the four poster. My natural shine would be allowed to come through and we would walk hand in hand, delivering love through the land.
And yes, I was on drugs most of the time.
Each week the lexicon of lessons was incorporated into life, practiced upon over the week and added to, like the most wonderful serial magazine. I missed one week over the time and it was "The Walks", we had already learned how to walk but this was the choreography for the End Show walk. Now I'm pretty bright and I do pick up things quite well, but these walks were tricky. step step half turn, step step pivot, kinda stuff and there were two of them, I did practice. Not being there for the initial lesson though, I was always slightly unsure on how the steps went and I did not have the confidence to ask the tutor, of whom I was in awe.
So finally, the night of graduation arrived. I did not have a guest, as everyone I knew thought it a pointless waste of time of a class. 9-5 was their life and the more I grew my butterfly wings, the more insignificant in their eyes I became. This course wasn't about looks for me though, it was about restoring confidence in a beauty that had been traded upon since childhood. A way of reawakening my hopes and dreams for the future. A more beautiful, self made future. How do we make the pictures if not through experience?
Which is precisely where I fell down. No, I did not fall, but I failed.
I looked so good, on that final night, I had shopped, plucked, waxed and shaved. Shaded, perfumed, buffed and teased, I sauntered through that room, up the middle catwalk steps I siddled (cause that's what you do, in heels, walking up steps, you place your feet slightly sideways, so the whole shoe is on the step and you glide upon slightly bent knee with back straight, shoulders relaxed and head, erect from, the crown) ;p I got to the top of the steps with the wrong foot forward, I pivoted instead of turning, was facing the wrong direction and flubbed it. If there were not 12 other girls who had all successfully turned the right way, it would not of mattered, but there were and it did.
There in the midst of Ambassadors, beauty queens and photographers, I Royally gaffed.
I didn’t get the Rose, but after 12 weeks with this crowd I had not expected to. The fundamental difference between them and me was well apparent by week three. To these gossamer wrapped and fledged, more gold than silver spoon fed monarchs, I was toxic. Perhaps tainted is a better word, they had a beautiful world and I wanted in. It was their duty to protect it, from riff raff like me.
Everything I learned, I had learned from grudging smiles, under raised noses, with little side serves of malice. Like the expensive foundation choice of wrong tone. Or the Winter when one is a Summer. I loved what I had learned wanted to put the lessons into practice, but something had ignited within, a desire hidden as money. The energy of money. When it is not actualy money you want but the things money can buy. I wanted that security, of never having to worry about the power bill, the rent, making a wrong foundation choice, good scents and textiles around me, colourful people and laughter.
Inside I left the whole experience feeling more unworthy than ever. 9-5 wasn’t working for me, drugs were and in the not too distant future I would end up in a massage parlour in Auckland.
So how does one move beyond the puddle of ones safety? I can see two choices. One can cry so many tears the puddle overflows and becomes a flood, or one can dig a canal from the puddle to the closest water source, even if it’s a sewer and one can float like poop “down to where the river meets the sea”.
I’m pondering my choice.
In peace, strength and love.
Well I am not where I wanted to be.
I can translate this from energetic to monetary terms, as a percentage. I am 6.5% out of alignment.
I become the age of a Mayan elder in 5 months, so I have a lot of work to do. I suspect it is my sense of community and peopling that is holding me back.
I am fearful.
I hurt others and am hurt,
I lack masks.
I'm coachable and willing to learn, but don't waste my time with bullshit that doesn't come from the heart or comes from a desire to justify a way of being, that does not do much but dislocate people from their spirit and the Spaceship we are care taking. Makes for a touch of tension ;)
I remember, think I have written on it before, about how I was punched in the face by the leader of a gang (we were ten) and unbeknownst to me, at that time, that was my initiation into the gang, who then went on to teach the awkward white stick, to move to any rhythm on the dance floor. Why? because I didn't nark. I ran into the bathroom crying, but I did not tell the adults or Police who were running the disco.
I got instant mates. So sweet ending to a weird episode. Yet it has coloured my perception of new groups of people ever since. There is always an initiation, an attempt to make one feel as if one belongs, sometimes coming in the guise of making one think they don't belong...can you hang in long enough? And there are always people who consider themselves leaders within the groups, like a self bestowed mana, of book learning, protocol or skin colour, but seldom because of heart and mind unity. Seldom are the leaders actually people choices. Like candidates in an election, you get to vote for the candidate presented, but you don't get to choose the candidate.
I didn't post as such yesterday, because I was at six hundred words and still hadn't suggested all of the thought streams I have around, tracing the blood. Not the genealogy of blood lines, but the where did the "Humans have always warred" come from? Why was that punch in the face considered a path to membership? How did violence become a systemic incorporated theme within our ways of being? And then I watched this...
And then I watched...I listened, I felt 600 words had already been said...and said by others, better. Ae tautoko
I love Dark Moon
There seems to be this reluctance to admit that people do have a hard time and suffer occasionally.
When Abraham Hicks talks about getting into the "flow" they always say..."You can't go from zero to 50 in a second".
People elevate themselves through moving through emotions.
Each emotion requires acknowledgment of where the person is now.
When a person comes into your practice or online, saying... "yes but we are not going back there", is not particularly helpful, before the person has had a chance to fully express the intricacies around a situation. Just because you as a coach can see the way out and through, does not mean a client can.
The tendency to rush people into feeling good and indeed, not allowing them to feel bad in your presence, is not helpful to long-term wellness.
When people come to a practitioner often it is because they are already feeling broken, depressed and stuck, maybe even powerless. These are the very symptoms of suppression. Often they are outwardly o.k. and appear in control. Why, because of emotional suppression.
How much more empowered might a person feel if they were listened to, and actually allowed to talk, not only about their 'negative' feelings , but the incidences that had been squelched during a life that is spent in dissonance with the reality of an insane world, where being "strong" is not only a norm, but a must. Where the Warrior is the only acceptable form of living.
The true strong and warrior, are states of being that are arrived at once the deeper emotions of living have been explored, and the energy transmuted so that a person deeply understands why the emotions and responses around a situation occurred, and how these responses have helped them to be the beautiful soul they are now.
Regardless of how we, the practitioner's feel about a person's life choices and journey, please have the good grace to listen to the story, in a way that your client feels truly heard.
Holding our clients with empathy and compassion, listening and validating their life stories, offering our heart space. This is the way I feel we should be honoring our clients. In this way we empower them to realize the value of their lives.
Simply My Thoughts