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The Thoughts We Whisper

Dark Moon Returns; Elder Wisdom

23/2/2019

1 Comment

 
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(Note my Illuminati, full disclosure, eye).
Well I was feeling really buoyant.
 
Oh yeah hung over, slow to start...when the party ends...and work kicks in. 
I love reading cards, I’m good at it. The Tarot is my friend. 
Yes, I hide behind my cards, I’m not ready to have thought streams and dead people turning up off the cuff. Book an appointment please. 


And therein lies the rub. 
I do not want to be the callin lady for urgent business. It’s too messy and could have been avoided had you decided to book in for a full reading earlier.  (My blog, my rant, I get over it).

Some things I have discovered, about my reading and the cards, yours will be different, but the fact I have discovered this about myself and the tarot relationship, should suggest  
  • I use the cards a lot 
  • Have done for a long time 
  • Have thought about the ways that work for me 
  • Have thought about how others systems work for them 
  • Have thought about and looked into “Modeled Systems” 
  • Have developed my own 
 
If my cards are kicking up dates over six months away, the message is more in the cards, than in the dates. Although I have had two instances, both within the same reading, that have given me pause for thought. The Fool appearing in past position, seems to be a way of the cards saying. “All of this spread, is because of something that happened in the past”, indeed, the outcome card gave the date of the original faux pas, rather than the time the incident will be reconciled by. And the King of Swords, Death and the Ace of Swords, can mean teeth trouble, when appearing within a reading, not necessarily in that order, or together. 

Dates can be fitted in with long term goals, but really, unless I am looking at the most disciplined of people, rigidly held and i's dotted to the T, shit happens. Three months is long enough to show the tendencies of thought, emotion, reality, cleansings and general wellbeing, that are going to reflect in your manifestation, of the Magick of being you. 

My goal, for everyone, is to get them using their intuition, to help people navigate their world in a beautiful way. I’m a Magickal life coach. My training is ongoing, as should yours be, but I have definitely paid to learn what I am doing, live what I am doing, and have watched it work, for both myself and others for long enough, to charge a fee. 

I also have been working for long enough to know, if people don’t pay a fee, they don’t value or think about the information presented, deeply enough to make it count and use for positive change. 

I want you, reading your own cards, using a pendulum, or to become so aware, of how energy affects your body, you can tell your yes from, your no. 
My standard teaching for survivors of childhood abuse, in particular highly sensitive or empathic people is this. 

N.B. I use the Chakra as energy areas of the body, you may intuit your own energy system, but these areas of the body will still respond in similar ways. 

Sometimes living really can screw with your intuition, as the people you love and trust are often the ones that hurt you. So, you may feel you are continually "going against" your greater good. 

A lot of people know about that "gut feeling" (some listen to it lol). And yes, it is there to keep you safe. Many believe it is the sacral chakra responding to people and situations. Here is the thing though...This area has brain cells, which may be why a lot of memories, of relationships, are stored or energetically pinged here. 
When you meet someone, and you get that gut feeling (for good or bad), it may be that the energy of this person is evoking the sacral memory response. For this reason, I would like to introduce you to another form of intuition. That of the heart chakra. 
If you place your left hand over your heart chakra, place your attention within its glow, and redirect your focus to the person met, notice what changes. If you relax, it may have been the sacral memory mentioned earlier. If the feeling is the same and the gut remains tight, MOVE ON! 
Now this handy little tip is great and can be applied to those "prospects" in the bar. When you get those wow, eye meeting moments...Reach up and adjust your bra strap (disguising your left hand over the heart area) and redirect your gaze. Listen/feel what changes. It may be your sacral going: Hell Yeah! Two Pairs of Shoes under my bed tonight! Or leading you into the karmic dance of another chance to be the one that ends those, no good abusive, go nowhere, run arounds. 
Alternatively, if your heart is still singing...This may actually be the one. Trust it.. 
This line, or thread, of thinking has a long lineage behind it. I’m sure others have put it together also. I have just been practicing a new/old way. 

Mr White, during a Necrophysics lesson over at Rune Soup, mentioned how he felt a yes or no answer, come in from the universe. 
Juhl’s mind went into overdrive. Yes or No, what answers that instantly, a pendulum, what do you have to do with a pendulum, you have to program it! You align yourself with the pendulum and ask it to show you a yes, then you ask it to show you a no, and some, program in a maybe, or up to fate, or something neutral, allowing the universe/source/energy/God some privacy or discretion of action. 
So, I aligned myself, with me and my kind of energy (love) and asked, straight out for how a yes was going to feel and how a no was going to feel. Boom instant physical answers. 
No, I have not had a chance to go gambling yet, responsibility and being aligned with love are my thing. And I shall start small 🙂 

I am however extremely excited. 
When I first began work in the intuitive field, don’t make me count how long ago, I began shadow work on myself, and there was no way I could get such a clear and crystal, yes and no response, (yes, I tried) and no way, would I have trusted that signal. Mr White and I however, share some Doreen lineage, it would appear and I am using that game card, to put this thread of thought, out. (My naming them, is a lineage of my thought, which goes way beyond them both. One could term the beginning in time, of this thought collective, an Ancestor). You shall have to sign up for the course, as I did, for much more.  
 
Finally, the point of this whole long missive, I think is a good one. Using my methods and systems and thought patterns, a lot of love from and for others, I have evolved to the point where I am a relatively in control cosmic conduit. I have allowed myself to dig deep, to hurt, to ritual, to meditate, to do whatever the fuck it takes, to make it to and stay within that special place of growth, aliveness, levity, compassion and love, that allows me to be as I believe we were all meant to be. Yes I’m egoic, yes I’m opinionated, yes I have chosen my own programs. I am totally human. Happy to evolve my ways, if you can show me something truly better. The best part is, if you haven't got that flowing, healthy, almost in control feeling, where you are picking up what the universe is putting down, growing a wonderful life for you, your family, and the world, YOU CAN GET IT TOO. 

I am the biggest screw up I know, sexually abused, drug addicted, hooker, bankrupt, sinner, you name it throw it at me, it will justifiably stick. And yet I feel great. You can too, just carry on doing what you are doing, sharing what works and owning those muck ups. Sometimes learning sucks. We should only need a lesson once. Reach out and book some time with me, if you are on your second or third round, I could support you in your efforts to grow. Be scared, change happens, let fear guide you if that is what it takes, transmute that fear to anger and wow, we have Alchemical gold for change. 
I hear this rumour that Mercury and Neptune are doing this dance, and Mars is there and Sirius is disappearing for the first time ever on Tuesday, and isn’t it all a bit much?  
 
Live your own Legend 
 
In peace, strength and love 
Juhl xx 
 
 
 
 
 ​

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Dusty Layers of Age; The Devil is in the Details

11/2/2019

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I often wonder, when entering space, on the marks, that time leaves.
I walked into my office, now with mattress on the floor, as a young one is home. An extra layer or sprinkling of magick, of mermaids and floaty, flying things, with bohemian, hippy accents and flowery soft perfume, greeted me.

Gracefully jumping the mattress, I sent my, bits and bobs box, sailing, the draws closing as it tumbled. A timely reminder yes, but it was the way the layers of sage dust, cat fur, powdered frankincense and myrrh, just for  a moment, caught the light and fair folk were there, within vision. As the floaties hit the floor. They became dust. Something to be cleansed, cleaned and cleared. Got rid of, cast off.

Endings of dreams long ago, some fulfilled and others languishing, in the dustpan, with brush, afore the rubbish bag.

The big pieces of our layered lives, we pull out, examine and explore.  But the other stuff, the drifting skin cells, the ashes of yesterdays incense, we brush, we blow, we scrape away. Hoping our lives retain a patina, a polish of high sheen, that someday one shall  notice, think of and enjoy.

​The Devil is in the Details.

If you would like to book a reading you may find me here.

In peace, strength and love.
Juhl xx



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ascension and an old witch

22/9/2018

7 Comments

 
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Sept 15 to 29 Mars and Lilith
 
I am not an, everything is from or about you person. I’m not sure how any child, who has had a hard child hood, could be. There are things that impact upon our world and ourselves regardless of how many good thoughts we convince ourselves we are thinking.
 
I’ve been looking closely at Ascension and what that means and 5d. Ascension means to overcome, 5d is a new way of being where the lowest vibration is love. So how do we get there?
 
With regards 5d. In 3d we are sold a bill of goods around polarity, and duality, yin and yang, the dark and the light, balance. As if these concepts of opposites are facts, and these concepts are used to justify levels of pain as “lessons”. Another justification of not having a beautiful safe and loving world for children is, ”you choose this before you come to this 3d realm”. Well, many of us didn’t choose this level of being to perpetuate it, we came to change this paradigm, and to change it we must be sure and firm of the concepts we came to change, the justification of Polarity being one of those.
 
“If you want to find the secrets of the Universe think in terms of energy, vibration and frequency.”
Nicola Tesla
 
What does this mean? Simply and in a nut shell, it means that every emotion, object or sound within our universe has a different level (we could look at this as a line) of existence. When these levels of existence meet, as they do within each being, they become a wave. The more your emotions fluctuate, the more disparate the sound sources, for example, the more your wave will fluctuate or oscillate. So within the polarity construct, the thought seems to be you must swing between evil and good actions, within emotion, love and hate. Make no mistake emotions are measurable amounts of energy and each one has it’s own level of vibration.
 
https://archive.org/stream/DavidHawkinsPowerVersusForce/David%20Hawkins/David%20Hawkins%20-%20Power%20Versus%20Force_djvu.txt
 
Though, it is possible to have many feelings around something, we only  feel one of these emotions at a time, and then with varying levels of intensity.
 
In moving into a 5d lowest vibration love, it is necessary to clear the emotional field of any heavy or dense emotions. And here is where a point of contention arises.
 
There seems to be several groups of thinking around the clearance of lower vibrational emotions and how to stabilise oneself once, the higher emotional levels are reached.
 
My personal bias, of what has worked for me, is not a popular one, as it involves experiencing the experiences that caused pain and discomfort in earlier times, until the energy around them has dissipated. As perspective is altered through the alchemy of this method, when listening to or reading of other experiences, nothing but love, and compassion remain. I am leaving Empathy out of this article, as empathy is a double-edged sword, something that is natural for most humans, now weaponised. I have found the method of Shadow Work to be the most stabilising over time. I have tried many methods.

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  • Affirmations; whilst the principle is a good one, affirmations only work upon the surface thoughts of our brains and an estimated 95% of brain workings happen within the subconscious.
 
  • Mindfulness; Whilst being conscious of our surface thoughts is very definitely a good beginning, the tendency can be to override the negative thoughts. With out understanding the reason negative thoughts exist “their purpose”, we run the risk of suppression, whereby these thoughts and emotional reactions are stuffed into a box, to burst out at strange moments, and may lead to illness. Also, the core pain is not addressed, this can lead to projection, both seeing our feelings within others and colouring our world view with a tainted brush.
 
Another aspect of Ascension is that of Service to Others as opposed to Service to Self. Again, I see a lot of bogus information around this concept. In its simplest form this concept translates as “learn once, teach two”. Whenever you find a new way of being that has helped you overcome and heal, or a have a true knowing come through you “In Sovereignty” (a deep ascension principle many are yet unready to hear) share that knowing.
​

Whether you recognise it or not, we human are evolving. Our consciousness is expanding, learning to network with others over distance, as many recognise failings (perhaps deliberate) within their communities, is a simple proof of this. As knowledge spreads it becomes more and more apparent that halting the breaking of our families, children and communities is paramount for peace for all. To stop the cycles of violence and abuse, it is essential for those of us who recognise a more beautiful existence, for all (no greater good here) to heal and become role models in turn. We are within this transition and I salute you.
 
Much love
 
 
 ​
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Sorry Facebook I do Love you. But I Need More.

20/9/2018

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Juhl Lightheart
8 mins · I am going to take my longer musings away from facebook. They really are designed for me and I don't want to get repetitive or be upsetting and I really need to grow my out reach. I really do love you guys and this platform. Many of you read my poem the other day and I enjoyed the ensuing conversation.

​"Your right
FB is no place for friendships of growth or intimacy.
It is a list of floating memes, 
Unlived dreams
That have no place in reality"

It was a conversation between many. Each giving voice to their own opinion. As such I'm a little torn as I recognise I want more of that. Though I would prefer Face to Face. 
Not always problem solving either, but shooting the shit and having a laugh, even, over wine and cheese.
I used to laugh at those memes and films of people having dinner with their virtual friends, now though, I understand and can relate. The reworking of technologies to the point where once again we have true communities, even at a distance excites me (though naturally I would rather meet in person).
LMH has a wonderful model for this and I think the Unf**kit Community does too. Though something called Discord is not my jam and I found it incredibly hard to work, I guess I will have to expand and adjust and find new ways.

I do have a very particular skill set ;) and it is not being wasted here, but I feel I could do more, and be there for others who have needs, and you guys are just so gosh darn awesome and together.
I'd appreciate if you could think of any other platforms, whereby I could extend my own particular brand of Caring and let me know.

I realise many of you don't even know I'm a trained Crisis Intervention Specialist, as well as Life Coach specialising in Childhood Sexual Abuse. That's ok discretion is always key. I love Magick and empathy and you will find a lot of highly sensitive people were also abused, which is why I took that angle. Tarot is a great way to break ice and a great income source (plus I love and am really good with the cards). But I do want to be there for those who were as broken as I was, before I began the Shadow Work path. And this path has become incredibly difficult to support people to walk upon, as there are so many bright flickering objects, drawing their attention, away from pain they don't want to face, into a world of suppression and projection. "It's all just a Story", being my favourite sarcastic tongue in cheek line.

We find the dark, we face it, we transmute it, and we rise. Each time with more stability and greater depths of healing and understanding. Sexual abuse is not a "fix" model to wellness, nor a quick one, yet when supported to heal survivors have bottomless wells of joy, compassion and strength available to them. Any one who has not undergone such situations, may have trouble comprehending just how incredible survivors are.

So, If it's ok with you, I will post my blog on here for those of you that want to read it. Other than that though, sailing into the wide blue yonder. Expansion time. Of course I will still be here, I'm a meme addict and I enjoy catching up with what is going on. But long rambling thoughts such as these, well I'm a dinosaur watching the meteorite hit in. <3
​

Much, much love

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Statement of Intent

19/9/2018

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​I am very aware I should be “going live” in order to impart the information I wish to impart. The world has moved on from the written word and at times I feel like a dinosaur watching the incoming meteorite.
 
I see many hurt people within my daily life. They come to me for readings, advice, occasionally the odd spell, but mainly people come to me to be heard. To be heard, validated and believed. Every soul that passes through my portals has their own individual unique story, some have lived their own slice of hell.
 
What is disturbing, to me, is that the stories can be grouped into classes or sets and most of them are set in childhood or teenage years and the way these people were treated. The impacts reflect upon their lives now, where their lives might have gone, and the grief is huge.  As an adult it is a continual thorn in my side, that these abuses are happening to our children still.
 
I have been watching some very brave people come forth and relate their stories, some incredibly horrific stories. I have listened and witnessed as these people have named names, been before Commissions of Enquiry, Courts etc and watched as the media have sidestepped, Governments have buried and normal people have scorned in disbelief, the testimonies and the acts.
 
Through the stories and within my life I have learned a lot, certain things trigger me deeply. The very real pieces of abused lives perpetuated upon the powerless being referred to as “Dirty Laundry” is one, the “Saviour” meme is another. Within the dirty laundry meme, we have all shame and guilt repressed and blame placed upon the survivor. What a way to shut people up and down. Within the “Saviour” meme, I see a way of removing from self an “I’m not here to save the world” that is a product of the individuated times in which we live. For no, you are not here to save the world, but you are certainly here to help your fellow man and be a part of creating a more loving world.
 
There is a big difference between being there and listening, supporting someone as they grow and heal and saving them. You can throw a drowning person a rope, they still must catch it. And that is where I am at. I am throwing ropes.
 
Times are a changing, the dinosaur allegory, “Service to Self” or "Service to Others". Both roads to somewhere.
 
Much, much love.
 
 
 
 

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The energy of money

18/9/2018

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It’s a strange thing money. It has a mythical appeal and repel quality. The familial tales and myths around money are epic. Each generation, reinforces codices of action and behaviour around wealth. But here is the real truth. If you weren’t born with family money, you are unlikely to get any to a higher level than your parents.

Oh yes, I know, I have heard them all…It’s how hard you work, it’s how you flow, it’s destroying those limiting beliefs, thinking abundant thoughts yada yada, blah blah blah, all stories, all bull shit.

One of the greatest deceptions I can see upon the world is that of the “Class System”. The level of income you are achieving designates your class, poor white trailer trash, lower income, blue collar, middle class professional too Elite, it doesn’t matter, these are the deceptive classes used to hide the great deception, that of Caste. The world is run and controlled through vertical lines of what you do, not horizontal lines of what you make. If you learn this lesson and learn it well, you will go far and possibly grow rich.

Now I was sexually abused from an early age. The situations generated around this, the feelings of guilt, shame, the crimes I in turn perpetuated, all had one true and hidden goal. The goal of keeping me within the “criminal subset”. I could have been a great politician or athlete, but by the time I was 10 the situations I had been in and party too, already precluded a sidestep into the legal world. Upon the underworld I would rise, fail or go to jail. I haven’t been to jail, which shows you just what a good little criminal I became, and within those ranks I could of ridden very high indeed.

Every time I tried to step away out from under a “strange attractor” would force it’s way in and I would be knocked back into the world of the illegal, until there was nothing but illegal for me to do. I became well trained, through fear, trauma and my own indelible well of hell.

The training to remain within ones caste ranges from subtle to highly invasive. The subtle is to write on drugs, prostitution and money and have your “friends” walk away, using justifications of “it’s in the past” or “I can’t be associated with that”. That’s a whole new level of denying ones being and validity as a person, watch as the real me shrinks back into shape. To the real heavy hits, this is the overdose of drugs, in the back of a car winding up in a different town, working in a whore house, kind of stuff, or the “we got the dirt on you, we’ll nark you out” (particularly effective when one has four kids).

Your, keep you in the Caste line, may be different, your circumstances are individual and unique to you. But if you are trying to change your life, move into another career, gain more wealth and keep meeting what the “New Age” terms resistance, then I would counsel you to look at your lines. Your vertical caste lines of what you were born and raised to be, rather than the class lines of money. It is very possible to ride to the top of your field, easily, as soon as you recognise what that field is and what is stopping you from plowing it.

I became a very well paid call girl, making my way up the ranks from seedy massage parlor to "High Class", then **** salesperson (still illegal here) working my way from foils to pounds and now I have a wonderful coaching and tarot business, whereby I get to support others to rise and be whole.

I have successfully navigated the side step. It took for me to realise that the ceiling is not above us, it is the walls that surround us, that stop our expansion.

In peace, strength and love.
​
Own it like the boss you are.


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September 15th, 2018

16/9/2018

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THE STRENGTH TO MOVE FORWARD

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When you have played in the ocean and lost a fin to the sharks, how do you move beyond the puddle you have retracted too in safety?

There have been several periods in my life, where I have flown, soared with the birds, worn silk and before it was "Totally" unfashionable, fur!

Gees I looked good. I'm not a natural beauty, but bear in mind my goals when I entered Solway College, at 12, were to be an opera singer, a ballet dancer or a first rate whore. And I had failed at the first two.

Into the Telecom and Training area I drifted. I learned word processing for that company, on the most bizarre two-day training course. From hardly seeing a computer, to typing and editing on one, complete with Fkeys in two days, umm ('87, think on p.c's back then...had you heard of one?)

Another training course I went on was incredibly different. It was the Academy of Elegance, 12 week 'finishing school' for ladies. I learned to shade my face (it's all about the triangles), walk. sit, get in and out of a limo elegantly...if certain young song stars had of taken that lesson it would've saved a lot of eyes from unsolicited beaver shots.

The highlight at the end of the course was "The Walk". 

We had two walks to learn, involving make up and clothing changes, to be performed, at the end of the course, before Invitees and Academy Guests. As a special prize, the girl who had graduated highest, would receive the Golden Rose. A lapel pin of... a gold rose.

Gees I wanted that rose.

You see at this stage I was still thinking I was going to meet a wonderful rich man and we were going to waltz away under a sky of stars. He would lift me up marble steps where we sigh longingly before gasping to fulfilment, on silken sheets, under the canopy of the four poster. My natural shine would be allowed to come through and we would walk hand in hand, delivering love through the land.
And yes, I was on drugs most of the time.

Each week the lexicon of lessons was incorporated into life, practiced upon over the week and added to, like the most wonderful serial magazine. I missed one week over the time and it was "The Walks", we had already learned how to walk but this was the choreography for the End Show walk. Now I'm pretty bright and I do pick up things quite well, but these walks were tricky. step step half turn, step step pivot, kinda stuff and there were two of them, I did practice. Not being there for the initial lesson though, I was always slightly unsure on how the steps went and I did not have the confidence to ask the tutor, of whom I was in awe.

So finally, the night of graduation arrived. I did not have a guest, as everyone I knew thought it a pointless waste of time of a class. 9-5 was their life and the more I grew my butterfly wings, the more insignificant in their eyes I became. This course wasn't about looks for me though, it was about restoring confidence in a beauty that had been traded upon since childhood. A way of reawakening my hopes and dreams for the future. A more beautiful, self made future. How do we make the pictures if not through experience?
Which is precisely where I fell down. No, I did not fall, but I failed.

I looked so good, on that final night, I had shopped, plucked, waxed and shaved. Shaded, perfumed, buffed and teased, I sauntered through that room, up the middle catwalk steps I siddled (cause that's what you do, in heels, walking up steps, you place your feet slightly sideways, so the whole shoe is on the step and you glide upon slightly bent knee with back straight, shoulders relaxed and head, erect from, the crown) ;p I got to the top of the steps with the wrong foot forward, I pivoted instead of turning, was facing the wrong direction and flubbed it. If there were not 12 other girls who had all successfully turned the right way, it would not of mattered, but there were and it did.

There in the midst of Ambassadors, beauty queens and photographers, I Royally gaffed.

I didn’t get the Rose, but after 12 weeks with this crowd I had not expected to. The fundamental difference between them and me was well apparent by week three. To these gossamer wrapped and fledged, more gold than silver spoon fed monarchs, I was toxic. Perhaps tainted is a better word, they had a beautiful world and I wanted in. It was their duty to protect it, from riff raff like me.

Everything I learned, I had learned from grudging smiles, under raised noses, with little side serves of malice. Like the expensive foundation choice of wrong tone. Or the Winter when one is a Summer. I loved what I had learned wanted to put the lessons into practice, but something had ignited within, a desire hidden as money. The energy of money. When it is not actualy money you want but the things money can buy. I wanted that security, of never having to worry about the power bill, the rent, making a wrong foundation choice, good scents and textiles around me, colourful people and laughter.

Inside I left the whole experience feeling more unworthy than ever. 9-5 wasn’t working for me, drugs were and in the not too distant future I would end up in a massage parlour in Auckland.

So how does one move beyond the puddle of ones safety? I can see two choices. One can cry so many tears the puddle overflows and becomes a flood, or one can dig a canal from the puddle to the closest water source, even if it’s a sewer and one can float like poop “down to where the river meets the sea”.

I’m pondering my choice.
​
In peace, strength and love.

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Journey to dark moon

3/9/2018

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Sitting in my P.J's wondering about energy.

Can anything really be infinite? For all the energy outside and within ourselves, be it the universe, the multiverse, the omniverse, there are if not edges or boundaries, then points where it all rolls back on itself. So not infinite but ceaseless, like a ring, that has no end and no beginning, yet rolls round and round and round.

And if that is so, then there is a finite amount of energy surrounding and within ourselves, though that finiteness is perhaps to large to comprehend. Just because something has no end doesn't mean its infinite. Like a river, you never stand in the same place twice, as all the water continually passes you by, Yet that water has been within or upon the earth for as many years as the earth has existed. Sure the form may of been different, but it has circulated, round and round...now in many places the water is Toxic...and there in lies my point.

What has happened to all the toxic energies, that we have created, released and wished away? Have we alchemically transmuted that energy, to something good? Did we drop the dross upon the shores of the earth, within the arms of source, expecting those forces to take care of our crap. Did we send the crap through the zero point, not realising we were expecting another dimension to do our job for us?
I suspect that we have in fact forgotten, that something always is. The energy may change form, but it always exists. And we are guilty of dropping our lumps of lead, to poison the waters, rather than changing that lead into gold.

How do we do that, change lead into gold? We learn. We take the experience that has allowed us the opportunity to feel like crap, we tease it out, search for how it happened and change an aspect of perspective, be it through boundaries or recognition, that will enable us next time to respond or act differently. There usually is a next time as polarization or extremes of emotion, act like magnetic lead, and once something has found a way to trigger you, the universe rather like a narcissistic boy friend, can not resist triggering you in a similar way again. And if we have truly transmuted, not just dropped the dross, then this time we catch the lead before it falls and we throw back gold.
​
Much love my friends

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Me making a living

31/8/2018

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​In feeling really hard into "My Career", there are several aspects I love so much they don't feel like "work".

The first of Tarot. Mmm mm I love those cards. All the idiosyncrasies of the pack, pictures falling as they may within the wherewithall of others lives. They satisfy a need I still feel, to have a back up of my natural intuition and source guidance. Yes I am aware I could do without the pack, look at a person and know exactly what is going on, even when the querant may think they know differently. Time and time again this point is proven out, and sitting behind the screen of the cards I can deliver some pretty harsh truths, which even with that back up may not be heard. Yes skill one, I'm good, scarily good.

Next Life Coaching, oh my there is something so wonderful in supporting people to grow. The problem here is one I still face even among you my friends. An unwillingness to know you have to go down deep into the murk, before you can move away from the patterns and cycles, that continue to bring, if not misery then an emptiness that can't be filled. Add to this an industry that has centered on "Self Love", when it is trying to love ones self, because of all the memes, that has created the imbalance both within self and society, in the first place. A huge industry has arisen around self perfection, a continuance of the isolation of our families and or communities, pitting against impossible Hollywood standards.

Teaching, love it! Be it leading meditation courses, shadow work or Tarot, this is my "home". Yet going alongside that is all the businessy stuff. It's not that I'm not good at those budget, expense and markety things. It's my techno sexual fingers. The ones that fu*k every thing they touch in the cyber world (limiting belief or reality of MK Ultra handling?). Either way, getting out a good voice recording became incredibly hard, especially as my vibration rose and interfered with the recording tech. My daughter home from her IT job in the big smoke, checked my p.c. and the drives had actually been split into several different compartments and someone or something else was actually running my show...so that is real.

Nothing, oh by golly I am good at that. Though not my favorite thing, it is almost. Dreaming, meditating, walking...any thing but house work, which I have done for too long, for too many people and now, I do it and love it when I do, but it makes wine so appealing.
​
In New Zealand, the indigenous people have a wonderful way of looking at and describing balancing areas of life. Harakeke is the art of weaving, much as in other traditions, it is the blending of warp and weft, that makes a life. I'm going to ponder that for a couple of days, have been most of my life, with an aim to growth. I am enough, I simply want to serve others more.
Dark moon is shaping up nicely.
In peace, strength and love.

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Better to feel than be a bot

17/8/2018

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​Whilst everyday is a great day to be alive, some days are more beautiful, crisper and more clear than others.
​
Today though, is not one of those days. Today is beautiful for other reasons. Today is a day of tears. I have cried tears of laughter as Tin Foil Hat described the Eagle Scouts, tears of sweetness as children showed how easy it was to make friends, tears of outrage as celebrities shared early lives of traumatic abuse, tears of grief for those whose lives have ended to soon and tears of love for an earth, whose luminescence, unveils and reveals it all. And it's only 7:25 am.
Beautiful bitter sweet memories, that make their way from our hearts and pour as tributaries down our cheeks, washing clean and clear our mascara. Because isn't that what emotion does, when properly expressed?
Expressing emotion removes the mask of civility and servitude of attitudes long past their prime and that, for many is a very scary thought indeed. Much of our language express's the need to "reign emotions in", "suffer in silence", show the "stiff upper lip", "don't let them know they've hurt you" and all these sayings contain within them the seeds of our control and lack of. You can only shove so much anger in a box, before it explodes, like Jack n a Box. When a society decides to staunch a flow of emotive words, because the truth of emotion is too raw, and proper response has been forgotten, when we denigrate the words spoken as the emotion behind them is no longer something we can handle, listen to or empathise with, then we are a society that has long past the point of being human. We have entered the Transhuman era.

Computers and AI don't have emotions Nor do Aliens or Angels, emotions are a purely "Earth Realm" thing. If emotions are expressed and heard as they arise, they are not huge cataclysmic things that sweep us away, they are beautiful, respectful moments of humanness. As such emotion should be honored. Instead we see agendas hell bent on stifling, suppressing and training away feeling. When a mob goes bad, the agenda of emotional suppression is fueled again. Angry cries of outrage at mob behavior, which never address the reason why the mob went mob in the first place. Another reason to silence voices, under the guise of inciting behavior. The cycle continues and grows.

For today, I am dedicating my time to feeling everything. Allowing all emotions to sweep through, around and swirl me where they will. I'm going to remember that this is what make our souls so very special, our light so desired.

In peace, strength and love.
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